


what was she meant to do?

by rottingfruit



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Autistic Anne Boleyn, Autistic Character, Jane is the mom friend aren’t I original, Overstimulation (not in the sex way), general autistic behaviour, how do you write in british???, me vs projection as a coping mechanism, meltdowns, this is a fic about autism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2020-06-28 15:32:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19815220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rottingfruit/pseuds/rottingfruit
Summary: the queens take more and more notice of anne’s frenzied behaviour, and an eventual diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder has mixed reactionsin other words: i’m autistic, i really love anne boleyn, and oops i’ve projected onto yet another character! enjoy <3





	1. uh oh (here we go)

**Author's Note:**

> so, yeah! this is about anne boleyn having autism and just, how that goes. keep in mind, this is based on what i know about and experience with autism from, y’know, having it, and my knowledge of the diagnostic process. my journey isn’t going to be the same as everyone else’s!!!

It hadn’t taken long for the other queens to learn that Anne Boleyn was something of a tumultuous presence. The sound of Anne’s hollering voice and thundering footsteps had become as ingrained into the ambient noise of the house as the humming of the furnace or passing of a car. Although her average demeanour in the house was reminiscent of the Tasmanian Devil, the queens had accepted it as part of the routine. Which meant that it was wildly destructive when her behaviour reached a boiling point.

It all started on a Saturday afternoon, when Jane returned from the store to find Anne’s gangly form sprawled out on the couch, still in her pyjamas - the Power Rangers ones that matched with a set Katherine had, of course. Jane tutted at her, setting the grocery bags on the counter. 

“Anne, it’s almost 3. Shouldn’t you be dressed by now? I did a load of laundry last night, I left your clothes on your bed.”

Anne shrugged, not looking up from her magazine. “You didn’t wash them right.” She replied, turning the page.

Jane stopped in her tracks, taken aback. “Excuse me?”

“You didn’t wash them right.” Anne repeated, as if it was obvious. “You made them too scratchy. I can’t wear them.” 

At this, Jane abandoned her groceries, walking into the living room. “What’re you on about? There’s nothing wrong with the clothes, love, I didn’t do anything to them.” She folded her arms, unsure if Anne was messing with her or not.

Anne cleared this up for her by snapping her magazine shut and clumsily rolling off the couch, somehow managing to stumble to a standing position. 

“You don’t get it, okay? Just...leave it!” She shoved past Jane and stomped up the stairs, ignoring the cries of Aragon, who was on her way down and had nearly been knocked down half the stairwell. Aragon sighed, heading into the living room where Jane was still stood, chewing her nail in thought. 

“Anne on the warpath again?” Aragon snorted, snapping Jane out of her daze.

“Hm? Oh, I...I don’t know, really. She was...being sort of strange.”

Aragon shrugged, turning towards the kitchen to help put away the groceries. “Nothing new there, then.”

Jane sighed, lingering for a minute before shaking her head and following Aragon into the kitchen, deciding to leave it for now.

—-

The next incident that sent up red flags for the queens was when Anne came home from a walk in the park to find the living room in disarray - or at least different. The surfaces had been adorned with various sizes of houseplant, new curtains were hung, and Parr was currently positioning a fairly large, wooden clock on the mantel. She saw Anne come in, and beamed. “Anne! Jane and I ran into a sale at the store. Like it?”

Anne looked around, taking in the decor. “Yeah.” She said finally. “Yeah, it’s nice.” Parr’s grin widened, clearly proud of herself.

Later that day, the queens were all relaxing in the living room, enjoying a peaceful day off. Anne, Anna, and Parr were sitting on the couch, each silently reading a book. Jane and Katherine were putting together a puzzle on the coffee table, and Aragon was absentmindedly sewing a hole in one of her skirts. The silence of the room was comforting, and was broken only by the brand new clock.

Tick...tick...tick...tick…

The rhythm of the clock was subtle in reality, easily ignored by most of the queens. To Anne, however, the ticking was all she could seem to hear. She twitched in her seat, gritting her teeth together.

Tick...tick...tick...tick...

Anne let her book fall into her lap, the action going unnoticed. She squeezed her eyes shut, so hard that pinpricks of light appeared against the back of her eyelids.

Tick...tick...tick…

She twitched again, and began clawing at her forearms, rhythmic scratches against her skin that were slow at first, but quickly became harder and more aggressive. Her eyes still squeezed tight, she didn’t see the other queens beginning to notice her behaviour. 

“Annie?” Came Katherine’s worried voice, but it fell on deaf ears. Anne continued tearing at her arms, small pinpricks of blood forming.

Tick...tick…

Parr leaned forward, tentatively placing a hand on Anne’s knee. “Anne?” She said, her voice an anxious whisper.

Tick…

The contact was all Anne needed to turn back on. She flew up from the couch, whirlwinding along the floor to the mantel, and in one aggressive, much less than graceful movement, slammed the clock from the mantel onto the ground, where it burst into a mess of shattered glass and springs.

Katherine shrieked, and the rest of the queens were nearly too shocked to even register what had happened. Jane was the first to get a proper sentence out. 

“Anne! What on earth has gotten into you?”

Anne looked out at the living room with watering eyes, at the five shocked queens staring back at her, expressions ranging from fear to anger. Anne choked back a sob, and sprinted up to her room, ignoring the cries of protest from the others.

The remaining five sat in silence for what seemed like hours, the echo of Anne’s explosion hanging in the air.

Parr was the one to break the silence. “That...there’s no way that was, just...normal, right?” 

Her question was ignored, until Jane shook her head, standing up. Outbursts from Anne were definitely not unusual - the girl was partial to what the others viewed as a harsh temperament and brash, opinionated stances. But this was cause for concern, even in Anne’s case. Jane smoothed out her shirt and cleared her throat.

“That’s it. I’m calling the doctor.”


	2. it’s no big surprise you turned out this way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which anne gets diagnosed, jane is yet again a mom, and anne has a pez dispenser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2!!! first things first, i got way more of a response to this than i could’ve ever imagined, so thank you all so much for reading and providing your feedback, and i’m glad people are liking it so far!!! so much love
> 
> secondly, i’ll admit that i INSTANTLY ran out of Six lyrics to use for chapter titles, so big shoutout to my friend kat for providing me with a huge list of general song lyrics, because i was very close to titling this chapter “jane be like: *teen beach movie voice* what’s going on?? this can’t be happening!” so, thank god we’re safe from that.
> 
> i realized after publishing chapter 1 that i should’ve put some trigger warnings in there, for blood or maybe self inflicted wounds? so if that was kinda sucky for you, i apologize and i’ll do my best to put TWs in future chapters if need be! but to my knowledge, this chapter is trigger free.
> 
> another disclaimer. once again, this is based on my experience with autism and getting diagnosed for it, etc etc, you get it.
> 
> anywhom!!! enjoy the chapter everyone

Jane sat in the psychologist’s waiting room, anxiously tapping her foot. The doctor had been with Anne for quite some time, nearing 45 minutes now, and it was impossible for Jane not to worry. The process has started with Jane calling the doctor with her fears, the doctor meeting with both Jane and Anne for a brief evaluation, and now Anne was in the process of speaking to who Jane was informed would be the final step of the whole ordeal. 

The past couple weeks nearly had Jane going grey from stress. She wasn’t exactly familiar with this sort of thing, although to be fair, the entirety of her first life had been spent during a time where a woman whose behavior was thought to be too out of the ordinary was accused of witchcraft.

It started with their general practitioner, who clearly sensed that something was amiss enough to warrant a brief visit with a speech therapist. Then those results were turned over to a neurologist who met with Anne a few times, and now they were at the psychology office, where the final diagnosis would be reached. Jane’s mind was cooking up every bad outcome in the book, and each scenario seemed to end with a lobotomy, for some reason. For example, what if Anne-

Jane was shocked out of her thoughts by a “Ms. Seymour?” She nearly jumped from her seat, looking to the source of the voice, which revealed itself to be the psychologist in question.

“Ms. Seymour, we’re ready for you now,” said the doctor, flashing an unreadable smile that did nothing to soothe Jane’s nerves. She followed him to his office, where Anne was seated in a small chair in front of a large wooden desk, fumbling with a Rubix cube. She grinned when Jane walked in, flashing her a peace sign and setting the Rubix cube down - completely solved, Jane noticed.

The doctor gestured to the chair next to Anne, and Jane took a seat, while the doctor sat on the other side of the desk and leaned forward, folding his hands.

“Well, Ms. Seymour, Anne.” The doctor began. “I have to say, this case was certainly interesting.”

Jane’s eyes widened. “Interesting? How? What’s wrong? I don’t-”

The doctor held out his hand, chuckling. “Ms. Seymour, please, it’s nothing to worry about. It’s just unusual that something like this goes so long without being diagnosed.”

“Something like what?” Jane leaned forward, growing irritated with the doctor for dragging this out for so long.

“Well, autism.”

Jane sat back in her chair, digesting this. Autism. She’d heard the word before, of course, but had to admit that she had only ever associated it with children. She noticed both Anne and the doctor’s eyes on her, and blushed, clearing her throat. 

“Autism. So, you mean…” She trailed off, at a loss for words. The doctor recognized this, and jumped in.

“Well, the official diagnosis is Asperger’s Syndrome. Essentially, on the autism spectrum, it would be considered ‘high functioning.’ It’s characterized by difficulties in social interaction, nonverbal communication, and restricted or repetitive patterns and interests.”

As the doctor went on about what he had observed in her to Jane, Anne tuned him out and let her mind wander.

She tried to formalize how she was feeling about all of this. The doctor had told her that she was a bit different than other people. Well, duh, she thought, she had eleven fingers for god’s sake. But then he’d explained that it was something in her brain that was wired differently than what was the norm. He said it was something that made her think and act differently than other people, and that what she’d explained about feeling like the odd one out was expected of someone with this condition, especially in a house of five other people. She’d asked if this was the answer to why she was such a ‘half-witted muppet,’ as Aragon had described her when Anne tripped over her shoelace and brought down a display of mannequins in a store the week prior, but the doctor had only chuckled at that, so Anne was still pondering that one.

All in all, Anne wasn’t too worried. The doctor had finished their appointment by assuring her that she had nothing to worry about or to be ashamed of, and seeing as he was the one with the PhD, Anne was satisfied. 

She was pulled out of her thoughts by Jane’s hand settling on her shoulder, making Anne jump in her chair. 

“Here,” the doctor was saying. “I suggest taking time to look through this with your family, and you of course have my number if you have any questions.”

He handed Jane a thick packet of paper, with the words “AUTISM IN ADULTS” emblazoned on the front in large, bold, letters.

Jane thanked him and rose from her chair, Anne following suit. The pair exchanged a few parting words with the doctor, and they were out the door.

On the ride home, Jane was walking on eggshells trying to talk to Anne about the news.

“You’re sure you’re okay, sweetie? It’s perfectly understandable if this is hard to wrap your head around, it’s pretty big news.”

Anne shrugged, popping a candy out of a Spider-Man Pez Dispenser.

“I’m fine. Everything made sense, and he said there wasn’t anything to worry about. Can we get Slurpees?”

Jane couldn’t help but chuckle, brought back down closer to earth by Anne’s incredibly on-brand response.

“Yeah, yeah, of course we can. But, just remember, if you ever need to talk about anything, we’re here for you, okay? All of us.”

Anne didn’t take her eyes off the road ahead, but a large grin spread across her face. “I know, Jane. Thank you.”

—-

That evening, Jane, Parr, and Aragon had taken up residence in Parr’s study, pouring over the booklet Jane had been given from the psychiatrist, as well as a few books and websites they’d dug up.

“...one sided, long winded speech about a favourite topic...intense and passionate focus on one or two interests, hyperfixation…that’s definitely Anne.” Parr sighed, reading from her computer. “I mean, she’s probably more obsessed with frogs and salamanders than most herpetologists,” she snorted. “Remember one of our first group interviews? The second Anne mentioned her tadpole pool it took Aragon dragging her out by her ear AND the promise of waffles to get her out of there.”

Aragon chuckled at the memory, turning a page in the pamphlet. “And what about this? ‘A clumsy, awkward gait or walk.’ I mean, that’s just textbook Anne, isn’t it? Or ‘failure to respect interpersonal boundaries.’ I’d say that Anne’s got herself wrapped around someone at least ninety percent of the time.”

Jane let out a sigh, rubbing her tired eyes. “I do have to admit, it really does make sense. And I know that she can be helped by us, and her therapist, I just really hope that she isn’t taking it to hard, you know? She can be really sensitive sometimes.”

—-

“Yeah, I thought he said ‘ass burgers’ at first, so I was super confused.”

Katherine let out a snort at this, shaking her head. “Of course that’s what you thought.”

The cousins were sitting on the floor of Anne’s room, their legs tangled together, watching as Anne’s lizard, Lee, crawled around the floor eating crickets that Anne tossed for him.

“I mean, it’s reassuring in a way.” Anne said, grinning as Lee ate a cricket in one bite. “I thought I was just, like, super annoying.”

Katherine shrugged. “Sure that’s what Aragon thought too.” She giggled, leaning on Anne’s shoulder. “Well, I’m just glad you’re okay. We were all pretty worried, y’know?”

Anne nodded, not taking her eyes off the lizard. “I know. That’s what Jane said. And nothing’s different, really, I’m still the same person. Except, like, now I gotta take Risperdal for it.” She paused, growing uncomfortable with the topic. “Um, so do you wanna see how the tadpoles are doing?”

Katherine shot up from her seat on the floor like a firecracker, grinning ear to ear. “Are you kidding? Hell yeah!”

Anne’s face morphed to a grin to match her cousin’s, and she stood, took Katherine by the hand, and brought her to a tank across the room.

“Look! Bartholemew and Duck have hind legs now, see?”

Katherine raised her eyebrows. “Duck? You named a frog Duck?”

“Yeah, I did. This one here.” Anne pointed, her grin growing even larger. 

“Why’d you name a frog Duck?”

Anne looked up, furrowing her brow. “Because.” She said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She turned back to the tank, pointing at the others. 

“I think I’ll name this one Spotty, ‘cause of the spots. This one’s Rachel, because the lady working at Starbucks the other day was named Rachel, and she had nice hair. Not sure about the other two, yet, they’re still a bit young to be distinguishable from each other. Oh, and look here…”

She trailed off into a mile-a-minute ramble, much too fast for Katherine to keep up with, though she’d never admit it. She watched Anne grow even more excited as she talked, beaming the whole time. She was almost kicking herself for thinking that Anne wouldn’t be able to handle whatever the universe - or in this case, the psychiatrist - threw at her. Anne was brave. She’d be okay. Nothing bad was gonna happen to her cousin, it couldn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anne’s special interest is reptiles and amphibians if you couldn’t tell
> 
> hey should i make a tumblr so i can keep people updated on the process of when chapters are released, as well as new fics (which i promise are the works) and stuff? let me know if i should do that down below as well as what you thought of this chapter!!!
> 
> well that’s all from me for now folks, hope u enjoyed! and i will see u soon <3 and once again thank u so much for all the support so far


	3. you’ll have to watch me struggle (from several rooms away)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Anne is thrust into an environment that fills her with fear, and it boils over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! so. i’m sorry this chapter took so long. for some reason this angst was really hard to write and articulate, even though a lot of it came from my own experiences with meltdowns and stuff.
> 
> this is definitely the most angsty chapter so i mean sorry gang but like. it’s fine. i’m having a good time. anne sure isn’t. but i am.
> 
> trigger warnings for this chapter: a bit of swearing, a fairly intense (i hope) description of an autistic meltdown, self-inflicted wounds (very minor, not in a deliberate self harm sense), slight blood
> 
> also!!! i made a writing/fandom tumblr!! if you want to get frequent news about the updates of this story, as well as like. send in prompts, see a few lil blurbs i wouldn’t post on here, and just see general six/theatre shitposting, follow me @rottingfruitt (note the two t’s) on tumblr dot com
> 
> anywhom!
> 
> enjoy chapter 3 everyone

“‘Anne, if you’re going to go outside, don’t wear the outfit you’re wearing out tonight.’ How many times did I say that, a dozen?”

Jane was in the process of throwing a load of mud stained clothing into the wash, muttering to herself in irritation.

“You’re lucky you had other clothes, Anne. I don’t know if I’ll ever get those grass stains out.”

The target of her frustration was positioned upside down on the couch, beaming innocently at her. “Thanks anyway, Janey.” She teased, earning a light shove that sent her toppling to the ground.

“Now.” Parr clapped her hands together, capturing the attention of the other five. “How’re we doing this. Are we driving, or…”

It was a rare day off for the queens, and they’d decided to spend the evening taking in a show and spending a night out on the town. That is, if they could figure out how to get the five of them downtown in one piece. Ever since the time that Howard had insisted on being the one to drive and ended up taking them halfway to Salisbury, extra precaution had to be taken on their nights out.

“Well,” Cleves chimes in, “I think we should rely on the transit system for this one. Come on, if we take cars on a night out in the heart of downtown, it means at least two of us will have to stay sober.”

The six of them exchanged glances, and unanimously decided that Cleves was right.

“Transit it is,” declared Jane. “I’ll check the bus schedules.”

—-

As it turned out, the queens weren’t the only ones with the idea to take advantage of public transit that evening. The bus they got on was already fully seated, and all six of them had to stand. As the group chatted amongst themselves, Anne couldn’t help but feel extremely crowded. She had Jane in front of her, Parr behind her, and two other passengers seated to either side of her. She remembered something Parr had been helping her with, and took a deep, slow breath in. At least I can see out the windows, she thought, exhaling.

A few minutes later, and Anne was doing much better. She’d essentially blocked out the claustrophobia she had initially been feeling, now wrapped up in a conversation with Parr about some poetry the two had been reading. She barely even noticed the bus slowing down at another stop, or the hiss as it opened its doors.

But she would’ve had to be completely blacked out to not notice the giant crowd that boarded. It must’ve been a birthday, or some kind of pre-wedding party, because these people were already pretty rowdy.

The queens found themselves being pushed back with the flow of the new passengers, having to move all the way to the middle of the bus to accommodate the whole group. Loud, quite obnoxious people surrounded them, shouting and pushing over each other.

Anne was now surrounded by people on all sides; Jane’s arm and elbow were digging into her ribs, and at every angle was a stranger, pushing into her in some way. 

This situation was much worse for Anne than it had been when they had gotten on. She couldn’t see out the windows, all she could see was people, swallowing her whole. A thousand different fabrics and materials from a thousand different points of pressure were pressed against her body, disconnecting her from reality almost entirely. The air was now a mixture of cologne, perfume, sweat, and a dozen other smells Anne couldn’t place.

But what topped it off was the noise. The rumbling of the bus was still going strong, but now it was layered with a million different conversations overlapping each other, some being spoken right next to her ear, others being shouted from opposite ends of the bus. Every so often someone would cough, sneeze, or a car would blare its horn as it sped by in the evening traffic.

Anne felt as though the world was crumbling around her. Every noise was like an air horn being blasted in her face, every touch felt like fire. She could barely get a grip on where she was, where she was going, she couldn’t wrap her head around anything. Her brain felt like it was ceasing to exist entirely. It was as if a volcano was building up inside her, ready to explode.

And when it did, the damage was disastrous.

Anne’s body finally took over, and she threw herself on the ground, letting out a piercing scream. She was kicking and thrashing, blind to the contact of her limbs against the shins of passengers,  
followed by their cries of confusion. She couldn’t even hear her own screams, the only thing she was aware of was her own fear and rage. There was nothing around her, she was spinning through a void. The bus vanished, the air disappeared, it was just Anne, spiraling into a bottomless pit of desperation that she knew would swallow her whole, would kill her. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see, her heart was pounding against her chest, splintering her ribcage, ready to completely burst from it’s cavity and leave her cold and lifeless.

If Anne had had any sense of the world around her, she would have seen the crowd around her jumping back in shock as she fell, would have felt the sudden lurch of the bus as the driver screeched to a halt at the sound of her screams. And most importantly, she would have heard Howard screaming her name, and Aragon yelling at the driver to open the doors. She would’ve noticed Jane and Parr kneeling down next to her, grabbing her arms in fear. She would’ve felt Anna picking her up in her arms, pushing past the crowd as urgently as possible to get Anne off the bus. 

Even if Anne were conscious of what was going on, she wouldn’t have been able to see that just as Aragon was about to follow the rest of the group off the bus, she caught one sentence out of the mutterings of the crowd.

It came from a younger man, one of the members of the unruly crowd that had boarded earlier.

“Christ, wonder what that freak’s problem is.”

And without a second thought, Aragon’s fist connected with the man’s jaw, and he fell into the arms of his friend.

“What the– hey, what the fuck is your issue?” Cried the man’s friend, but Aragon was already off the bus.

—-

The next few hours were a mental blur for Anne. She had a vague timeline of the rest of the night, from being put into a taxi to being tucked into bed. Later on, she would be able to recall a few patchy specifics - Cleves carrying her into the house and up the stairs, Jane and Parr getting her into bed, all with Katherine watching worriedly from the door of Anne’s bedroom. But she wasn’t fully conscious and aware until the next morning. 

She woke up curled into a ball, the blankets covering everything but her head. She instantly bolted into a seated position, grabbing at her arms and sheets, feeling her face, taking in every part of her room.

All there, she thought. All real.

She let out a breath, and then fell back down onto her pillow. She wasn’t ready to get up yet. The mere thought of having to leave her bed, to go downstairs and face the world, was enough to make her want to fall back asleep for another week.

An hour went by, and she didn’t hear any movement about the house. She figured the others must have been taking care to not disturb her, and she made a mental note to thank them later. 

After a few more moments of contemplation, she finally mustered up the energy to swing herself out of bed and shuffle out of her room to the bathroom. 

She stared at her reflection for a moment, taking it in. There were dark bags under her eyes, accented by the black mascara streaked down her cheeks by her tears from the night before. Her hair was messy, a reminder of the clawing at her scalp. But perhaps most jarring was the sight of her face, neck, and arms.

She was covered in thick, red scratches, ranging from light and faded to nearly fresh, and with spots of dried blood smudged in her skin. She knew this was her doing, she could understand that much. 

She didn’t know how long she stared at herself, but eventually she couldn’t take it anymore. She tore off the pyjamas that the others had somehow gotten on her the night before, turned the shower on as hot as it would go, and jumped in. 

It was as if she was trying not only to remove the blood and tears, but to scrub away the sheer memory of what had happened. Even though she didn’t know the specifics of what had happened, she could get the gist of it. She couldn’t shake the thought of how the others must have felt. Embarrassed, she figured. Ashamed. Disappointed. Furious, for sure. She stood under the scalding water scrubbing her skin raw until it was too much to bear, hopped out, dried off, and threw on a bathrobe. She opened the door with the intention of heading to her room, unable to handle the thought of facing her friends.

However, that plan was derailed when, to her shock, she was met with a pacing Aragon outside the bathroom door. She looked up when the bathroom door opened, biting her lip. Anne stared at her blankly, completely at a loss for words. Aragon was the last person she’d expected to see.

“I...we heard you moving around.” Aragon began. “We wanted to make sure you were okay, or, well…” She trailed off, unsure of what to say.

Anne nodded, refusing to make eye contact. “I’m fine.” She muttered. “Thanks.”

She went to push past Aragon to her room, but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

“Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it? It’s okay, love, if you need to let some stuff out. We’re all here for you.”

Anne stared at Aragon for a moment, took in the true worry in her face, the care and longing in her eyes that could only be that present in a mother.

She swallowed hard, opened her quivering mouth to say something, anything - and promptly burst into tears.

Aragon wasted no time in letting Anne collapse into her arms, rubbing her back slowly as she sobbed into her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Anne choked, hiccuping through her tears. “I’m so sorry, Catherine, I fucked up, I really fucked up.”

Aragon blinked in surprise at the use of her first name, something she wasn’t used to, especially from Anne. “What? Fu…messed up? Anne, what’re you on about? You didn’t do anything wrong-“

“I did though! I did!” Anne cried, cutting her off. “We were all just going to have a night out, and...and I couldn’t handle it, could I? I freaked out, and I probably terrified all of you, not to mention everyone on the bus, and-“

“Anne, listen to me.” Aragon pulled Anne back and gently held onto her shoulders, looking her in the eye. The sight of Anne looking so...so broken, left splinters in her heart, but she pushed through.

“Anne, you need to understand that this was not your fault. The doctor said-“

“To hell with the doctor!”

Aragon had to stop herself from jumping back, the sudden yell taking her by surprise.

“To hell with whatever he said,” Anne continued. “Diagnosis or not, I’m still the one who suddenly decided she couldn’t handle what, the bus getting a bit too crowded? And...and yeah, this was the worst it’s ever been, but you can’t pretend that it was a one time thing. Remember in the mall, where that guy tripped and pushed me, and I freaked out and punched him in the face? Or what about when we were rehearsing with all the strobe lights for the first time, and they messed me up so much that I locked myself in the dressing room? Face it, Aragon, I just...I can’t handle myself! And you guys...you guys shouldn’t be the ones who have to be watching me all the time, making sure I don’t lose my mind whenever a car honks its horn to loud. You all have your own stuff to deal with, especially Katherine. All I am is a burden to you, and I’m…”

She trailed off, noticing Aragon’s face for the first time since she’d started her rant. She was staring at Anne with an expression that would read as shock, if it hadn’t been for the genuine hurt and sadness in her eyes.

Anne gulped and looked down at the floor, unable to bear seeing Aragon look like that. She rubbed at her face in a pointless effort to get rid of the tears that continued to trail down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” She said, her voice breaking. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

She turned around and stumbled back into her room, locking the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because aragon deserves a fandom personality outside of Being Rude To Anne (even though that’s super fun to write and it will be prevalent in the future most likely)
> 
> anyways!! as always i hope you enjoyed it, thank you for your continuing support (<3) and lemme know what you thought down below! once again, follow me on tumblr @rottingfruitt (please) and i will see you all soon!!


	4. you will never understand (even when you hold my hand i just feel alone)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT WITH ME THIS CHAPTER TOOK 80 YEARS...anyways. here the fuck it is!!!! i have nothing to say it’s. a lot. def the hardest to write which i keep saying but for real dude. but yeah enjoy!!!! (i’m like 99% sure i’m all spellchecked but if not i very much apologize)

Some time passed before another attempt to establish contact with Anne was made.

After Aragon had gone back downstairs and explained with a soft voice and watering eyes what had happened, the queens had concluded that Anne needed some time to herself. Still, that didn’t stop them from worrying.

The next half hour was spent in nearly total silence, interrupted only by the occasional dull thud of a mug being set down on the table. Finally, Katherine jumped up from the table and slammed her hands down on the surface, eliciting surprised gasps.

“That’s it.” Katherine snapped, “That’s it, I can’t just...sit here doing nothing while Anne is up there being miserable! We can’t just leave her alone to forever!”

Before anyone could protest, Katherine spun around and flew up the stairs, leaving the other four to pray that she could get through to Anne. 

When Katherine reached Anne’s bedroom, the intensity that had propelled her up the stairs instantly subdued. She knew that behind that door, her cousin was in what was possibly one of the most vulnerable states she had ever been in. Katherine raised her fist to the door, and knocked just loud enough for Anne to hear.

“Annie? It’s me. Katherine.”

No response.

Katherine stood at the door anxiously, straining her ears for any sign of movement behind the door. A minute passed, and then two, and Katherine was about to head back downstairs in defeat, when she heard the soft sound of the lock clicking open. Her heartbeat quickened as she watched the doorknob turn agonizingly slowly, until the door finally swung open.

Anne was standing in the doorframe, staring down at the floor. But even her best efforts couldn’t hide her red, puffy eyes, and shiny, wet cheeks. 

“...Hey.” She croaked, visibly cringing as her voice cracked.

“Hey.” Katherine echoed softly. “I just...can I come in?”

Anne just shrugged, and went back and sat down on her bed. Katherine hesitated for a moment, then followed suit.

The pair sat in silence, Anne’s tired gaze focused on the frog tank sitting on her dresser. Katherine bit her lip nervously, searching for words. She’d never seen Anne like this, and admittedly had no clue what she needed to hear. She opened her mouth, intent on attempting to wrestle her way to a comforting sentiment, but Anne beat her to it, shocking Katherine when she spoke up first.

“They need feeding.”

“They...what? Are...are you hungry, or-“

“No.” Anne shook her head firmly. “Not me. The frogs. They haven’t eaten today. South American horned frogs need to eat every day.”

She went to stand, but Katherine suddenly reached out and grabbed her arm, shocking both of them. Anne was taken aback by the sudden intensity of her cousin, and Katherine was, honestly, confused with herself. She still wasn’t sure what it was she needed to say.

“Anne…” She began, slowly letting go of Anne’s arm. “Annie, talk to me.”

“I am.”

“No, you're not. You know why I’m here. Please, Anne, we want to help you. I want to help you.”

Katherine regarded Anne with a pained, pleading look in her eyes. It was a look that not even the most aloof of souls could stand up against. Anne swallowed hard, forcing herself to look away from Katherine.

“I don’t...I don’t need that, Kitty. Listen, I told Aragon, I just messed up, okay? And...and I hate myself for being the reason that you’re all down there, y’know, being all freaked out just because I don’t know how to deal with my emotions.”

Anne’s voice was strikingly monotone, but Katherine knew her too well to miss the ever so slight knitting of her eyebrows and flaring of her nostrils. 

Katherine placed a tentative hand on her cousin’s shoulder, silently persuading Anne to finally meet her eyes.

“Anne, you’re allowed to feel things. You don’t have to hide what's inside you to make other people feel better."

Anne flicked her eyes back down, biting the inside of her lip as she turned this over in her head.

“We are never not going to be here for you,” Katherine continued. “Like it or not, that’ll never change. You’re never going to be alone, not with us around.”

Anne finally gave a half-hearted smile, and Katherine felt a mound of tension lift off of her shoulders. 

“Thank you,” Anne whispered, just loud enough for her cousin to hear.

“Of course. You know I’d do anything for you, okay?”

Anne nodded, and her smile turned into a warm-hearted grin. Without warning, she pulled Katherine in for a deep hug, and the pair stayed like that for at least a whole minute.

When Anne finally pulled away, she seemed finally ready to speak her mind.

“I...I love you guys. Seriously. And...and I’ll be okay. I just need to be alone right now, y’know? I mean, I’m...pretty tired.”

Slightly reluctantly, Katherine nodded, and stood to go. Just before she went to open the door, she paused, and turned back around.

“Listen, Annie. We’re a family, okay? And that means that we have to look out for each other. We have to do what’s best for each other. And we always will.”

Anne nodded, whispering her thanks again as Kat beamed back and shut the door. 

After Katherine left, Anne stayed seated on her bed, deep in thought.

“Look out for each other,” She muttered, playing with a loose thread on the hem of her shirt. 

“Do what’s best for each other.”

—————-

“Kat, love, do you want to go see if you can get Anne down? Supper’s just about done.”

Katherine nodded, hopping up off the couch. “Yeah, ‘course, Jane. I’m sure she’ll come right down, you know Anne can’t say no to your lasagna.”

”Well, she better not. Can’t have her going to sleep without food,” Jane chuckled, setting the lasagna on top of the stove as Katherine skipped up the stairs to Anne’s room. They’d left her to sleep for hours now, knowing she more than needed her rest. Parr has gone to check on her once, but she’d been so quiet when Parr knocked on the door that it was decided that it was best to leave her until at least supper time.

Katherine reached Anne’s door, and tapped out a playful knock against the wood.

“Annie? Come on down, it’s supper time.”

When there was no answer, Katherine sighed, figuring that Anne had fallen asleep.

“Anne, come on.” She chuckled, opening the door. “You’ve gotta come down and eat. I’m pretty sure that-“

—————-

Back downstairs, Jane was setting herself up to eat, when she noticed that two chairs were empty. 

“Are Katherine and Anne still not down?”

The rest of the queens simply shrugged, and Jane furrowed her brow in frustration. Grumbling something about the food getting cold, she turned to go retrieve the cousins, but was stopped by a terrified Katherine nearly throwing herself down the stairs.

“Katherine? Kat, what’s going on? Where’s-“

“Anne’s gone.” Katherine huffed, clearly out of breath.

“What?”

“Anne. She’s not upstairs. Anne’s window is open, and she’s gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so :) i hope :) u liked it :) anyways...my tumblr is rottingfruitt if you want a better idea of when it’ll be updated + the ability to send in writing prompts and read stuff i won’t post here! so yeah give that a follow if u wanna! but yes i hope u...enjoyed this...


	5. *UPDATE*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> long time no see?

hey! very sorry that this isn’t a chapter, but i figured this was the best way to update you guys since my tumblr isn’t very active. i know it’s been months since the last update — i’m very sorry. i’m in my senior year and have been absolutely swamped with work, and when i’m not swamped i’m honestly just taking time to myself and shutting my brain down.

this story is NOT DEAD. it WILL finish. there are two planned chapters left. i will hopefully finish the ACTUAL 5th chapter sometime within the next couple weeks, and when that chapter is finish i’ll delete this one.

thank you all so much for being patient with me — the amount of support i’ve received on this story is unbelievable. i really didn’t think anyone would read it, it was just for fun and some good old projection. believe me i have not forgotten or disregarded the support you’ve given me.

once again, this story is not dead. i refuse to let that happen. i’m also going to be more active on my tumblr blog, so if you want to interact with me more, and maybe get more updates on the story, follow rottingfruitt on there.

once again, thank you all so much. see you soon!


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